Friday, December 3, 2010


I FINALLY got a letter from Chad last night. I was SO excited to open it that bringing anything in the house from my car, ie; coffee cup, dishes, purse or anything else meant very little in my moment of happiness. All I wanted to do was rip the sticky seal and read my brothers words. We have all been on edge not hearing from him, especially my dad, so this would be good news to deliver to him, that a letter has arrived.

I could tell a form was in the envelope. I knew it would the form I would need to fill out to begin the process of a background check to approve my visitations. The envelope wasn't thick so I was kind of wondering if the form was all he sent and nothing else and thinking how disappointed I would be if that was it. But it wasn't. Inside the form was a letter from my Chadly. He is doing very well. In reading the letter, I was actually able to hear his voice saying the words to me. He is still in lock down 23 hours a day but he's not secluded like he was in jail. He is able to talk to people and it's helps make the time go by fast. The food is "ten times better and all around the situation is much easier to handle than being secluded."

He was the only one who was able to order this week so I'm guessing that's why it took some time for him to write. He's being treated good and told me not to worry, he's gonna be alright!!!!!! He asked about Thanksgiving. They all had a standard but good Thanksgiving dinner at the prison with a pumpkin pie thing that he described as "the bomb." He also was able to eat a PB&J sandwich and LOVED it. LOL.

He wants me to tell you all hello , he is well and he is working on writing everyone. He said thanks to all who have written and put money on his books. The letters help tremendously.

I feel like 10 pounds was lifted off my shoulders after reading his letter. I know my brother loves me with all of his heart. He reminded me to smile because it makes everything better. Oh how I miss him terribly.

It's funny how we go through life doing our normal routines and getting so caught up in the day and it's offerings that we forget how much we really take for granted. The small things like a PB&J that is really nothing big to any of us that can go right to our kitchens and make, but for my brother and the population he's with, it's a privilege to have something so little taste SO GOOD! Another example are the hugs Chad would give me. Chad didn't need a reason to hug anybody, he did it just because he wanted too. I knew in my mind and heart every time he hugged me that it would possibly be the last hug I would get from him. The last squeeeeeeze me so tight hug that I'd feel my back pop. Chad is quite a bit taller than me so I'd have to stand on my toes and hold my head back or else he'd smother me in his chest and I couldn't breathe, LOL. So when I got a hug, I tried to hug him back just as hard knowing that might just be the very last time I'd feel his arms wrapped around me.

Me and Chad, April 2010

I remember the last hug I got from him and I don't know when I will get another one. There is a matrix chart the prison goes by to determine the security level, privileges and type and number of visitations you get. It's done by the alphabet and I believe you have to get to the letter "R" or "S" before you can have contact visits. So sadly, it will be a very long time, if ever, that I get to hug my brother.

So realize that while it's in our daily routines to do what we do and we don't mean to take the little things for granted like a PB&J or a hug from somebody, be happy and grateful FOR those little things and cherish them because you just never know when you won't have them again.

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