I love you sissy!!!!
So I talked to her for a few minutes and tried to calm her down. The only way I knew how to do so was just tell her that Chad doesn't want any of us to STOP living because of him. He wants us to keep going, he wants us to be happy. He wants us to be everything he couldn't be. And the most important thing I could tell her is how much I LOVE HER. She is the only sissy I have and I cannot lose her!!! Somehow, even with 450 miles of separation, she and I have got to get through this just as much as my family that is within a 25 mile radius here has too. I can't say that any of us will be okay. I can't say any of us will return to the way we used to be. The pain we have carried everyday for the last 10 years watching Chad suffer as a drug addict and what it ultimately succumbed him too eats at us and there is just no way to tell if we will recover from it. Yes time may heal our hearts but the sting is always present, at least it is for me.
I got home from work and went to the mailbox. Still no letter from Chad. It's disheartening and worrisome. As much as I would like too it's not like I can pick up the phone and call the prison and ask if he's ok. He's an adult and he's in a correctional facility housing thousands of men. It's not like jail. Maybe he doesn't know he has money on his books yet to order envelopes and paper. There are usually only certain days you can order commissary and maybe it takes a while for them to get what they've ordered. Not to mention the prison reads their mail. I'm not sure if they ready every piece of outgoing mail. I'm sure they do if there is probable cause but if they do have to read it, that's a LOT of mail to read and process so maybe it's just taking longer than we are used too. And maybe Chad simply hasn't written anybody yet. He could be tied up with other things going on out there, getting used to the system, maybe trying to come to terms with his reality. I don't know why none of us have received anything but there isn't anything I can do about it either. I just keep writing him in hopes for a letter one of these days.